Satya Week 3: Doing It Right the First Time
In this week’s exploration of Satya, Deborah Adele introduces complexity and ambiguity to the conversation by drawing the tension we experience in our daily lives between the desire to belong and the desire to grow.
The groups we belong to are many: our country, our culture, our gender, our class, our age group, our race, our religion, our family of origin, our community, our workplace, and the various organizations that we’re members of. All of these groups have rules and belief systems […] that must be followed for us to be part of the group. […] As long as these rules don’t conflict with our inner longing to grow more and more into our full self, there is no problem.
The implicit or explicit parameters that exist in any of these groups are what give the group it’s identity. We have all faced these choices. When what we really want to do is quit the job that brings us no joy or fulfillment, but we have bills to pay and obligations to our family. When we long to pursue a new area of interest, but its deemed odd or inappropriate for us by our family or community. Adele says in these circumstances there is no right answer. A refreshing take, when most of the world would urge us that the “truth” is in one direction or the other: either always putting our groups before ourselves, or completely eschewing our ties to others in service to the Self. Adele describes this “no right answer” circumstance as the high cost of truth. Adele argues that moments of indecision are moments where we haven’t made peace with truth, because we’re aware of the cost.
She connects this to a concept she describes as “doing things right the first time.” She expands on this by detailing those moments of procrastination like putting off doing our finances, or little lies we tell ourselves like “Oh yes, I’ll definitely have enough time to do all 10 items on my to do list today.”
These are all acts of cheating truth that result in messes we eventually have to clean up.
In the case of the finances, maybe we overdraft the account, maybe we miss a bill, maybe we just make the job of balancing the check book take much longer than it would have if we did it on time. In the circumstance of the to do list, we might find ourselves swinging wildly out of balance (ahimsa), having to make apologies to others for missed commitments due to being dishonest about how much we can accomplish.
These actions make us into a person who can’t trust themself. There’s always that part of you that knows you’re not being completely honest with yourself. That niggling feeling that you really can’t get this all done today, and if you do you’ll be miserable and unpleasant to be around. That drop of guilt in your stomach when you know it’s been too long since you looked at your bank account and you have the time to do so if you were honest. “Doing it right the first time” means listening to that feeling and acting on it instead of ignoring it or burying it in little lies. By acting truthfully in this way, we free ourselves from guilt, regret and anxiety, and become more trustworthy to ourselves and others.
If we are able to be truthful in the day-to-day activities of our lives, doing things “right the first time,” we might have an easier time listening to our inner truth in those moments when the truth forces us to make difficult decisions. “Right” will have a difference meaning to each person depending on their circumstance, but the ability to see clearly what that is for you may bring you more peace in your decision.