Ahimsa Week 2: Balance
“The deep harmony of balance is my most precious commodity and I guard it fiercely”
-Dr. Phil Nuernberger
The premise of this aspect of Ahimsa is that in order to be the best version of ourselves, in order to practice courage, we must be in balance. I think many of us can relate to Deborah Adele’s assertion:
“If we are not on purpose with creating balance for ourselves, we can easily fall victim to false promises and fill every breathable space with appointments and activities and all the responsibilities that go with a full agenda. It is anti-cultural to claim any space that is simply space, or to move with any kind of lingering, or to take time for closure. We are bombarded and we bombard ourselves. And if we have any doubts, our calendars will reveal the truth of our craziness.”
How full is your calendar? For as along as I can remember, I’ve been chronically busy. Often with good, fun things that I love, that bring me joy. But to be honest, even being busy with good things causes imbalance and negative consequences. It’s only recently, in the last year, that I’ve been extremely cognizant and careful about what I put on my calendar. I’ve stopped saying yes to every single opportunity out of fear that it’ll be the last opportunity I’m ever offered. I no longer continue doing things I feel like I “should” do for any reason if they cause me too much stress, overwhelm, imbalance and/or burnout. I’ve started prioritizing time to rest, time to read, to garden, to create silly art projects, to watch television, to simply enjoy life. And I don’t mean to “enjoy life” as we see it glorified like “YOLO” and travelling the world, and “hustling” and #livingmybestlife. I mean like, just enjoying the fact that I’m alive. Enjoying the simple things like breathing, snuggling with my dog and my fiance, spending quiet time alone doing yoga… you know, just basic, everyday LIFE that has nothing to do with achievement or looking good for an audience.
“Spreading ourselves thin looks impressive, but in the end, we are the first to lose”
A few weeks ago someone said to me, “I don’t know what you’re doing with all your free time these days.” To be clear, I have two jobs, I try to workout a reasonable amount, I have a commute, and as aforementioned, I have family relationships that need tending to. When I’m not working, I have more than enough to fill my time, but most of those things don’t have a physical output to show off, which is what that person was really asking: “Where’s the proof of what you’re doing with your life?” For maybe the first time in my life I’m not doing, I’m just living.
Of course, balance is balance because it goes both ways. As the second half of this great experiment, now that I am more conscious of what I put on my calendar, why, and how it effects me, it might be time to start adding back in. This week I added in some activities like taking a yoga class during the week, running the box office for my friend’s theatre company, and attending some continuing yoga education. I found that adding these activities to my routine actually made me feel less drained and less stressed.
At it’s foundation, yoga teaches us awareness. Awareness is the key to everything. It’s not about what you do or don’t do, it’s about being aware of what you’re adding and what you’re leaving and why. Vinyasa means “to place purposefully.” It is the practice of choosing your path with awareness from breath to breath, not sleep-walking through a prescribed sequence of movements. Vinyasa is how we should live our lives.